


All I want to do

by Annerp



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alexander Pierce is not a bad guy, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Bucky and Alexander's relationship is for appearances only, Bucky is in heat but doesn't tell Steve, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Happy Ending, Kinda infidelity but also not, Knotting, Light Angst, Lonely Bucky Barnes, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, More of a fake dating thing with Pierce, Mpreg, Omega Bucky Barnes, Sexual Content, Shrunkyclunks, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Unprotected Sex, Unsafe Sex, sad Steve Rogers, there is no Hydra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25084513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annerp/pseuds/Annerp
Summary: Bucky Barnes is in a relationship with wealthy business man Alexander Pierce. Has been since the older man approached him with a proposition that would provide Bucky a comfortable life while giving Alex the appearance of a stable, doting family man to his business partners. It's a perfect arrangement that's only lacking one thing.Steve Rogers has just woken up from 70 years on ice in a new world that he desperately wants to escape. He finds some peace in the arms of a handsome stranger.Together they share something special, if only for one night.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Alexander Pierce, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 159
Kudos: 307





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off of the song 'All I wanna do' by Heart. 
> 
> The A/B/O dynamic here is soft and very subtle, Bucky is in heat, but in full control. However he doesn't explicitly tell Steve that he is, nor does he bring up the need for birth control. 
> 
> Italics are memories. Bold are the song lyrics.

**Chapter 1**

It's late. Later than Bucky would have normally been out, but he couldn't stay. Not tonight. Not with this incessant itch under his skin. Not with the overwhelming need to be touched, held, loved. 

Not that he isn't grateful. Alexander has given him so much. And he is kind. Bucky shouldn't complain. He has everything a young omega could possibly want. A home, security, and the freedom to make choices about his own life. Alexander pays for him to attend school and makes sure that his life is comfortable, if not lonely. It's just...

_ I'll be working late tonight and then leaving for Japan first thing in the morning for at least two weeks, maybe longer. Why don't you take a little trip somewhere since school is out for winter break? Don't stay cooped up at home.  _

_ Will you be back for Christmas? _

_ No. I don't think I will. _

_ Oh. Okay.  _

_ Take care James. I'll see you in a few weeks. _

It's just for appearances. An arrangement, nothing more, nothing less, but god he wants more.

He's been traveling for a week. Mostly driving up the coastline staying for a night or two in little towns that catch his eye. Some places he has frequented before, others he is just discovering. 

It's peaceful, without the oppressive emptiness of the home he shares with Alexander, giving him time to reflect on what is missing from his life. 

**It was a rainy night when he came into sight**

**Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat**

**So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride**

**He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while**

**I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain**

The downpour had started while Bucky was parked on an overlook. The view was breathtaking, the rain only adding to and amplifying the effect. The first flash of lightning is what finally pulled him out of his thoughts and pushed him back onto the road and through the sleepy town.

There isn't much to it. Quaint cottages, antique shops closed up against the winter storm, a small grocery store with fluorescent lights shining through glass painted with Christmas themes, a liquor store with a flickering neon sign declaring it closed for the night periodically highlighting the hunched shape of a man trying to shield himself from the rain. 

When he looks back on this moment, Bucky will never be able to explain what made him stop or why it felt so right when the man slipped into the passenger seat with a shy smile.

"Where are you headed," he asks as he pulls back out onto the empty road.

The man doesn't answer right away. And that's okay, Bucky isn't sure he'd be able to provide a good answer himself, if asked. 

"I was just trying to get away." It is said so softly, almost low enough for Bucky to miss the tinge of heartache. "I left my bike…", his eyebrows draw together as a soft noise of distress filters through his lips. "I wanted to be left alone." There is a beat and then a choked off sound that tugs at Bucky's heart. "They kept...they followed…"

"Hey. It's okay. I only need to know what you want to tell me." It's a foolish risk. A single unbonded omega picking up a stranger, an unbonded Alpha if the miniscule slips of scent that slip through are correct. But Bucky doesn't feel any fear. Not with this beautiful boy.

**Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight**

**Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night**

**All I want to do is make love to you**

**Say you will you want me too**

**All I want to do is make love to you**

**I've got lovin' arms to hold on to**

This beautiful boy with his blond hair starting to dry in spikes from the car's heater, to his long lashes brushing across the top of his cheeks with each slow blink, and the way his hands tremble against the thighs of his soaked jeans, Bucky wants to know him. He wants to wrap him in his embrace and share the warmth of his body until the blond feels safe and content. He wants to protect him and cherish him. It's an instinct Bucky has long since suppressed, but has been rearing its head more often lately and in this man's presence it is hard to ignore. Bucky is certain that if not for the scent blockers his own smell would be overwhelming in the enclosed space of his car.

"Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?" Bucky keeps his voice soothing and his eyes towards the road only catching small movements in his peripheral vision. 

"No. Not really." A large hand reaches up to touch the air vent and then jerks back. 

Bucky adjusts the heater to a higher temperature without comment and takes satisfaction in the way the man's posture slightly softens. 

"Well, I'm heading up the coast. Planning on finding a place to stay for the night." He leaves it at that. An open invitation, no pressure, no expectation. Something unlocks in his chest at the nod he gets in response. 

**So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well**

**We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right**

The hotel is one Bucky has been to several times in the past. With it's coastal views, sparkling pool and restaurants, it is easily one of his favorite places to stay. But tonight what draws him here is the promise of a private in-room meal, a warm shower and a bed large enough for them both. 

His hand shakes slightly as he works the key slot. He knows what he's about to do and if the body pressed up against his back is any indication the blond does as well. It should bother him. He should feel guilty, but the hand that delicately wraps around his wrist, pulling him into the room makes him forget everything else except the smell of arousal, the sense of longing and the feeling of slick between his thighs.

Heat races through Bucky's body at the brush of questioning fingertips over his flesh. He can feel the itch beneath his skin intensify with every touch. 

When their lips meet as they trail clothes behind them to the bed the feeling magnifies until it coalesces in his belly as a yearning need so primal Bucky can hardly focus to remove the last articles of clothing that separate them. 

Laying beneath the beautiful boy Bucky closes his eyes and relishes the trails of fire over his body in the shape of kisses and caresses. A fleeting press of lips, the delicate brush of fingertips, breath exhaled over parts of his body that have long gone untouched by another. The soft mewls and breathless sighs that he can't hold back are only eclipsed by the guttural moan that escapes when the blond pushes into his body for the first time. 

Bucky is overwhelmed by blue eyes that hold his own with rapt attention and a measure of adoration that takes his breath away. He can have this. This connection that he has been lacking can be his. At least for the night. And he will grab hold of it, digging the blunt nails of his fingers into flesh that gives easily over muscles held taut with restraint. 

Their bodies rock together finding a rhythm that brings them both closer and closer to the precipice of pleasure until an errant desire brings Bucky's hand up to caress the blond's cheek and suddenly this beautiful boy is tumbling over the edge locking them together so tightly that Bucky follows with a gasp as he paints the scant space between them with his release.

***

Bucky busies himself ordering room service, a selection of several things since he has no idea what the blond likes, while the man makes use of the oversized shower. It is hard to resist the urge to join him, especially when Bucky can hear the low groan when he moves under the spray. 

Stepping out of the bathroom trailing steam behind him, the blond has a towel cinched at his waist and a wry smile on his face. "My clothes are still wet. I probably should have thought about that." He bites his lip and shrugs a shoulder before zeroing in on the table of food by the window. "You got food?"

"I didn't know what you liked so I ordered a bit of everything," Bucky says as he holds out a robe from the hotel closet. The way the blond's eyes light up makes Bucky wonder when was the last time anyone did something nice for him. 

The play of muscles across the golden skin broken only by the pale pink lines of Bucky's passion on the man's back is mesmerizing as he turns to pull the robe on, letting the towel fall to the floor. It almost hurts to watch him secure the belt, but worse is the way Bucky's body thrums when he raises the robe collar and scents it with a sigh. 

The amount of food the blond can consume is frankly astonishing and Bucky finds himself sitting back just to watch, having had his fill with a simple burger and fries. He may not have prepared it himself, but there is still something innately satisfying in providing for an alpha. Even if it's not his alpha. 

***

As he drifts off to sleep with the blond pressed against his back, their bodies joined once again, Bucky knows he'll never forget him.

**And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note**

**I told him I am the flower you are the seed**

**We walked in the garden we planted a tree**

**Don't try to find me, please don't you dare**

**Just live in my memory, you'll always be there**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets a big surprise, comes clean to Alexander and learns his lovers name.

**Chapter 2**

  
  


_ James, what's wrong? You seem upset. Did something happen while I was gone? _

_ No, of course not. How was your trip? _

_ It was good. The negotiations went well and I expect we'll have the contracts signed in the next two weeks after the lawyers have looked them over. _

_ That's great Alex! Does that mean you'll be home more often?  _

It doesn't, in fact, it means that Alex is busier than ever, traveling with his new personal assistant Brock Rumlow. 

Bucky is loath to admit the stab of jealousy he feels each time Alex smiles fondly at his phone or when he rushes out the door to a waiting car driven by Rumlow. It's not that Alex is cruel or even inattentive, rather he is distant in a way that sends Bucky into a spiral of memories that he will forever cherish.

He's not in love with Alex. He never was. And in his heart he has always known Alex didn't love him either. Their arrangement is a matter of convenience and benefit to them both. Almost a business deal. Friendly companionship, with only the appearance of anything more. It is only lately that it hasn't been enough.

And that lack of connection, that feeling of loneliness is what drove Bucky into the arms of a beautiful stranger all those months ago for a night of passion that will remain etched in his memory and on his body for the rest of his days.

**I told him I am the flower you are the seed**

**We walked in the garden we planted a tree**

**Don't try to find me, please don't you dare**

**Just live in my memory, you'll always be there**

The first feeling is elation, closely followed by trepidation at the thought of telling Alexander. He holds the plastic stick and stares at the twin lines thinking about blond hair and sad blue eyes. He thinks about strong arms holding him close. He thinks about bodies tied together in the most intimate of embraces, an alpha and an omega sharing a connection so deep nothing else can compare. He thinks about regret and wonders at a name he doesn't know. 

Mostly he thinks about the life he is carrying and how everything is about to change.

He keeps it to himself, this wonderful secret, a gift from a beautiful stranger. 

Until he no longer can. The evidence in the mirror may not be noticable to anyone but himself, but Bucky knows it's only a matter of time.

***

"Can we talk about something?" He normally doesn't bother Alex when he's in his home office, but Bucky knows he is planning on leaving for yet another business trip soon and so he doesn't have a lot of time.

At the interruption the older man looks up from his paperwork with a frown that softens slightly when he sees Bucky anxiously wringing his hands in the doorway. Closing the file in front of him Alex sits back in his chair. "Of course. What do you need?"

What  _ does _ he need? Bucky has no idea. Not really. Which of course isn't true. He knows. He knows, he just…

"I need to tell you something. And I know it's going to change our arrangement. And I understand that I need to find a place to go-"

"What happened?" Alex's tone isn't angry, more curious and even though that should make Bucky feel better, it really doesn't.

"I met someone…and…"

"Oh-"

"A few months ago," he hurries to add. "You've been busy and I'm here by myself all the time- not to say that this is your fault! Not at all! Because it's not! You've been great. It's just…"

Alex sits forward again, elbows resting on his desk and steeples his hands together. "You need more."

"Right!" 

"And you met someone and want to be with them?" He sounds so reasonable, so calm. Part of Bucky wishes Alex would raise his voice, show some anger at the level of betrayal Bucky has perpetrated. Because the reaction he's currently getting is making his guilt feel so much worse.

His hand automatically goes to his belly, finding comfort in the small swell. Alex tracks the movement with a raised eyebrow. "We aren't together," Bucky tells him.

"But there will be a child?" 

He can't bring himself to answer, can't even look Alex in the eye. All he can do is nod. There is a beat of silence, two, three.

"Okay-"

"I'll move out. I can be gone before you get back from California," Bucky offers, hoping Alex won't throw him out then and there.

"There's no need for that James."

***

It is surprising how little their relationship shifts. Alex still travels for work, Bucky is still in school. 

Things will have to change at some point though. He won't be able to hide the changes to his body for much longer and there will be questions. Assumptions will be made about Alex being the father and while that may actually be advantageous for his image, Bucky struggles when he thinks about the man who will never know his child.

***

The attack is sudden. 

Alex is away again and Bucky has been alone for two weeks when the news breaks. Now it's been hours. Hours of being curled up on his bed as he watches the horror play out on the TV. 

Bucky smooths his hands over his belly, murmuring reassurances to his child and to himself. The TV has been muted so Bucky doesn't have to hear the sounds of fear and destruction. But he can see it. And that's all he can do, just sit and watch as first responders do all they can and a group of 6 enhanced people try to save them all.

The images are shakey and often obscured by debris and smoke, but details slowly start to emerge. A woman in black, a man with a bow, another with a red flowing cape, a green colossus, Tony Stark's Iron Man and holding a shield with a star in the middle, a man in red, white and blue.

He can't look away. Not even when Iron Man flies into the hole ripped into the sky. Not when he falls to the ground. Not even when the green behemoth catches him in mid air. He doesn't look away when the man with the shield tries to revive him. 

And so he doesn't miss the blond hair covered in dust or the blue eyes that have haunted his dreams for months as they are captured on film for all the world to see.

Steven Grant Rogers. Captain America. Born July 4th 1918. Close to 70 years frozen in the Arctic after sacrificing himself to save millions. Recently found and revived. Living in secret while adjusting to modern life, until being called to action once again.

The father of his child is named Steve. And he is a hero. For a brief moment Bucky entertains the idea of raising their child together, but he knows there is no place for someone like him in Steve Rogers life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may have noticed I upped the chapter count.

**Chapter 3**

_ What's this? _

_ It's a deed. _

_ I don't understand. _

_ It's yours. The house has plenty of room, with a yard and the school district is top notch. I've made arrangements to help you out. And a bank account. You'll have everything you need. _

_ But why? Why now? Did I do something wrong? _

_ No, of course not. It's just I've been thinking, I'm ready to retire and Brock and I… well you know. And you deserve a better life than being cooped up here. You both do. _

***

**What he couldn't give me**

**was the one little thing that you can**

The house is lovely. Alex wasn't lying. Three bedrooms, a playroom, a separate office, living room, family room, a large back yard, it's perfect. And Bucky couldn't be happier. 

At least that's what he tells himself. 

He finished school, Alex paying for everything, and has a job he likes that allows him to work from home, which is great, even though technically he doesn't need to work, also thanks to Alex. He even has a small group of friends.

What he doesn't have is Steven Grant Rogers. 

Some days he pretends. When he watches the news or opens an alert on his phone, he thinks about Steve out on missions and imagines that he's just waiting for him to come home.

He imagines that they are a family and in those moments he feels whole.

It's foolish and he knows it, but it doesn't stop him from doing it the next time.

***

At first Bucky didn't notice it. The quiet between news stories slowly lengthened, until one day a month had passed between sightings of Captain America. 

One month became two and two turned into six. And Bucky lost the only connection he had to the father of his child.

***

**Then it happened one day, we came round the same way**

Bucky hasn't been down the coastal route in a long time. Looking in the rearview mirror to the back seat, he realizes it's been almost four years since he last came through this town.

He can't really explain why he felt the need to do it now. Maybe it was the new Captain America documentary that he shouldn't have watched. Maybe it was Alex and Brock's wedding announcement. Maybe it was nothing. More likely it was everything.

The town is the same as he remembered. Quiet, maybe a little bigger, a few more cottages. He drives past the same restaurants, the same antique stores, the same gas stations. 

His hands shake as he pulls into the parking lot of a familiar liquor store, trying to push down memories of a rainy night and a beautiful boy with sad blue eyes. He won't think about the night that touched his soul and changed his life. 

He's inside browsing the snack aisle when it happens.

"James?"

Blond hair and surprised blue eyes peer at his over the rack. "Steve…"

**You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes**

He rounds the aisle and is standing in front of Bucky in an instant. The pull of his body is familiar and Bucky can feel an ache form in his core at being so close to Steve after all this time.

"James…" Steve reaches a hand out as if he wants to touch and Bucky wants it too. 

He doesn't though. And Bucky has to bite back the disappointment at not getting to feel those strong hands on his body again, even if only for a moment. It takes him a second to realize something. "How do you know my name?"

Steve's cheeks pink up in the most endearing way and it has the same effect on Bucky now as it did then. He has to look away so he isn't pulled in. 

"When I woke up and you were gone… I found your note, but I… I asked at the front desk. They gave me your name."

"Did you look for me?"

Steve opens his mouth to answer, but stops as his eyes drop down, noticing something he missed before.

Brown hair, a shy pout and blue eyes that are so familiar Steve's breath catches in his throat.

Steve's eyes soften and shine as he takes in the boy. He looks between Bucky and the child clinging to his pant leg and Bucky knows Steve is doing the math in his head.

"What's his name?" There is a mixture of hope and fear in his eyes that Bucky recognizes well.

If Steve had any doubt, "Grant…" it only takes one word to dispel it.

The sound that wells up from Steve's chest is wounded and pulls at Bucky's heart. In all his daydreams this was something that he never imagined. 

"Did you know who I was? Then?" There is pain in Steve's voice, but he looks Bucky directly in the eyes as he asks.

"No. Not until later." He holds Steve's gaze until the blond's attention turns back to Grant.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because of who you are. What was I supposed to do, just show up in New York and surprise you? I wouldn't have even been able to get near you. How would that have worked out?"

Although he has the right to be, Steve isn't angry, he's devastated.

A soft whine from Grant focuses Bucky's attention. "This probably isn't the best place to talk about this."

"My place isn't far, we can go there." With some effort, Steve pulls his eyes away from Grant. "If that's okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. We'll, um, follow you."

That tinge of pink comes back and God Bucky missed it. "Actually I walked."

"Oh! Right, okay, then you can ride with us."

***

Steve watches Bucky buckle Grant into his car seat in the back and then slides into the passenger seat just as he did four years ago.

**All I want to do is make love to you**

**One night of love was all we knew**

**All want to do is make love to you**

**I've got lovin' arms to hold on to**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no self control and now the chapter count has been raised again. 
> 
> Also, let's have some domestic fluff.
> 
> This chapter switches to Steve's POV.

Chapter 4

"This is nice."

Steve places his keys down on the small table by the front door and takes a centering breath just like his therapist taught him. 

"Thanks," he finally says as he walks the few steps to the living room. He can feel the weight of James following behind and suddenly his cozy cottage feels stiflingly small.

Turning to face him, Steve takes in the sight of James standing in his home, with his son propped on one hip.

His son. Grant. He has a son. 

He wants to ask to hold him, but doesn't know if he has the right to. He isn't sure how to even hold a toddler. Sure he held a few babies that were thrust into his hands when he was on tour selling war bonds, but this? This is different.

Steve's legs feel like they're about to give out and he drops heavily onto the couch, flailing only slightly when he nearly misses the edge. "Do you want to sit down?" He asks, gesturing to the spot on the couch next to him.

When James settles on the cushion Grant presses in close to his chest and buries his face so only one blue eye peeks out. Steve wants so much to reach out to brush his hair back and run his fingertips over the boy's delicate features.

His hand twitches restlessly in his lap and he even goes so far as to raise it towards Grant, but stops when he turns his face the rest of the way into James's chest. 

"He's a little shy around strangers," James explains and Steve just crumbles.

He wants to rage and scream ' _ I'm not a stranger! I'm his father'.  _ And he wants to cry. ' _ I'm not a stranger. I'm his father.' _

Steve doesn't have to say anything though, James just seems to understand. "It'll take some time for him to get to know you, that's all. If you want that," he adds.

"Of course I want that, God James, of course I do."

"Bucky. My friends call me Bucky."

"Bucky then," Steve beams. This time he does chance reaching out and softly running a finger over Grant's hair. 

"He's… he's beautiful."

Bucky smiles and presses a kiss to the top of Grant's head when the boy starts to fuss in his lap. "It's about time for him to eat lunch. I have a little ice chest in the car with his food, if you don't mind watching him for a second."

"Yeah." Steve tries to hide his nervousness behind his own smile. "I can do that."

"Grant, I'm gonna go get your lunch. You stay here with Steve for me okay?"

"Okay." And easy as that Grant is wriggling across Bucky and into Steve's lap. 

He wants to cry and cheer all at the same time. He settles for twisting a curly lock of dark hair around his finger and making awkward small talk. He does find out that Grant likes the color red, loves dogs and his favorite thing to eat is ice cream, all very relatable things.

Lunch turns out to be half a peanut butter sandwich, a banana that Bucky dutifully cuts up and a juice box. 

While Grant is busy Steve takes the opportunity to ask the question that has been burning in the back of his mind. "Are you… is there… uh…is there anyone, um, in your life. Right now I mean. Like a partner I guess." 

Bucky blinks at him and his cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. "No. There's no one. What about you?"

"Not since…" he turned his eyes to Grant, knowing Bucky will understand.

Steve wants to run his fingertips over the angle of Bucky's cheekbones and the line of his jaw. He wants to follow them with his mouth. It's as tempting now as it was four years ago. 

He doesn't though. Instead he watches as the brunet washes Grant's face and hands and then shows the boy a bag that he brought in from the car.

Grant is on it immediately, digging around until he pulls out an action figure. A Captain America action figure.

"He's a little young for it, but it's his favorite," Bucky explains as Grant starts to 'walk' the toy around on the floor and over the couch.

Steve watches with rapt attention and soon learns that 'Captain America' can apparently fly and is quite explosive, if the noises Grant makes are any indication. He is utterly charmed. 

And when the boy reaches back into the bag and hands Steve an IronMan figure to play with he has to cover his mouth and breathe deep to keep from crying.

Bucky slips into the kitchen to clean up the remnants of Grant's lunch while Steve sits on the floor and plays with his son. It's domestic and perfect and Steve never wants it to end. It's all too easy to envision this as his life.

"Steve?"

The blond looks over the top of the couch when he hears the waver in Bucky's voice. There's a piece of paper in his hand and a question in his eyes. 

The paper is worn around the edges, the writing faded and smudged in places, creased from being folded and tucked into his wallet. He remembers running his fingers over the writing repeatedly. He remembers seeing the first little tear in a corner and feeling it echoed in his chest. He remembers putting it on the refrigerator, stuck in place with a cat magnet, proclaiming that he should 'hang in there' when he first moved into this house a year ago. He remembers everything about that night, their only night together.

**One night of love was all we knew**

**And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note**

**I am the flower you are the seed**

**We walked in the garden we planted a tree**

**Don't try to find me, please don't you dare**

**Just live in my memory, you'll always be there**

"I kept it because I never stopped thinking about you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

  
  


_ "I kept it because I never stopped thinking about you." _

What does that mean? It's been four years since that night and while Bucky has never been able to stop thinking about Steve either, he has a tangible reminder in the form of a rambunctious toddler with his father's blue eyes. 

What did Steve have to remind him of Bucky other than a brief few words scribbled on hotel stationary to link them together? Steve has his life in New York. He has his team. He has Captain America and everything that comes with that. 

What Bucky has is a son who is rubbing at his eyes and looking around Steve's living room, no doubt for a comfortable spot to nap.

"If you have some extra blankets we can lay them out on the floor and he'll be out in seconds," Bucky remarks as he reaches into Grant's bag and pulls out a stuffed dog and a soft baby blanket. He hands both items to the boy who rubs the blanket across his cheek and cuddles the dog close to his chest blinking sleepily at Steve.

Bucky isn't wrong. Grant is crawling into the blankets before Steve could even get them properly laid out and is asleep in moments. 

Both men are watching the rhythmic rise and fall of Grant's chest and the way his little fingers twitch where they are curled around his stuffed dog when Steve speaks up. "I hadn't been awake for very long. From the ice I mean, when we met," he adds at Bucky's questioning look. "I woke up and everything I knew was gone. Everything was different." He huffs out a laugh that is devoid of any humor. "Most things were different," Steve amends. "The government still thought they owned me and wanted to use me however they saw fit.

"I had just woken up, I didn't know anyone and they tried to force me back into fighting without even explaining what I was supposed to be fighting for. 

"So I ran." This time the laugh is more self depreciating. "Actually I flirted terribly with my handler and snuck away when they weren't paying attention. 

"They followed me, of course. Figured out they were tracking my bike, my wallet, my clothes. I ditched it all, replaced my clothes and ended up here standing outside in the rain and then there was you."

Bucky will remember that night for the rest of his life.

**It was a rainy night when he came into sight**

**Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat**

**So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride**

**He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while**

**I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain**

**Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight**

**Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night**

  
  


_ "I was just trying to get away." It is said so softly, almost low enough for Bucky to miss the tinge of heartache. "I left my bike…", his eyebrows draw together as a soft noise of distress filters through his lips. "I wanted to be left alone." There is a beat and then a choked off sound that tugs at Bucky's heart. "They kept...they followed…" _

  
  


"They caught up to me eventually. Actually they sent someone after me… Natasha, she's a friend now. Helped me get out, helped me get this place. I don't know where I'd be without her."

"Why move here?" Bucky can feel his heart in his chest, he's never been more aware of the steady beat as he is now or of the way his pulse jumps when Steve smiles softly at him.

"I guess I always hoped that maybe I'd see you again."

  
  


**All I want to do is make love to you**

**Say you will you want me too**

  
  


***

  
  


It's hard, sitting beside Steve trying to process his thoughts. It's better when he goes outside and sits by himself on the back deck looking out at the small garden and large grassy area. Of all the scenarios Bucky played through his head on his loneliest days, this wasn't one of them. 

The idea that Steve moved to a town he didn't know on the off chance that he may run into a man he spent one night with years before, is overwhelming and intimidating. How can the reality of Bucky Barnes live up to whatever it is that Steve has built him up to be in his head?

"I know what you're thinking." 

Bucky whips around at the sound of Steve's voice, only now realizing that the sun is much lower in the sky than it was when he first came out here. He's aware of his heart again; the rapid beat from Steve's sudden appearance, but also the stutter-step at the sight of the blond holding Grant in his arms. 

The boy has his head resting on Steve's shoulder and he smiles happily when Steve turns so he can see Bucky's face. 

"What was I thinking?" Bucky asks as he tries to ignore the tug in his chest at seeing Grant with his arms wrapped around Steve's neck. 

"I came here because I hoped I might see you again, but I stayed because… well, because I wanted to. Whether I ever saw you again or not, I'm happy here."

Bucky doesn't say anything in response, but he does take note of the way his chest loosens in relief. Steve deserves to be happy with or without the two of them in his life.

"This little guy," Steve says, jostling Grant in his arms a little, "told me that he is very interested in walking down to get pizza and maybe some ice cream after." 

"Oh, he did, did he?" Bucky is overpowered by matching mischievous smiles and twinkling blue eyes. His heart skips a beat then thrums with warmth and affection. And maybe something more.

  
  


***

  
  


"You're sure he'll sleep okay in here?" Steve asks quietly from over Bucky's shoulder.

The brunet tucks Grant's stuffed dog in closer and kisses the soft curls on the boy's head. "It's been a busy day, he's exhausted. I doubt he'll wake up before morning."

They both back out of Steve's guest room. "My room is right here," the blond gestures to the door to the right. "If he were to wake up, you'd probably hear him."

The thin excuse to get Bucky into his room is sweet and completely unnecessary. 

  
  


***

  
  


**All I want to do is make love to you**

**Come on, say you will, you want me too**

  
  


The first press of Steve's lips to his is tentative, nothing like all those years ago. This isn't Steve feeling lost in the world and needing to forge a connection. This is Steve asking for permission to bring that connection back. 

Bucky's fingers trailing through Steve's hair, tugging gently at the strands is him adding in his own need for more.

It's different this time. It's not nameless comfort in the arms of a beautiful stranger. This is having a name to whisper into the scant air between them. "Steve…" 

This is knowing the person who touches your body with the ease and familiarity usually only found in a longtime lover. "Steve…" 

This is hearing your name spilling from their lips in a breathless sigh. "Bucky…"

"We need to slow down," Bucky murmurs into the space between their mouths.

"You're right. We absolutely should," Steve answers with a brush of lips and teeth. 

"We shouldn't rush into anything," Bucky pants as his fingertips caress Steve's cheekbones and gently guide their mouths back together for another kiss.

"Four years is a long time." Bucky can't be sure if Steve is agreeing or disagreeing with him, but the way the blond's tongue sweeps into his mouth makes him forget why he even cares.

Four years  _ is _ a long time. Too long to miss the warmth of Steve's body. Too long to feel the phantom touches on his skin and the warm breath of air across his ear. It's too long to think about what could have been, if only…

"Steve, I want…" Steve nuzzles gently at Bucky's neck, not quite scenting him. He waits for permission which Bucky gives easily with a whisper. 

The first touch of Steve's mouth over the sensitive skin at his neck is overwhelming and grounding all at once. His body feels overstimulated as Steve gently nips and sucks at the tender gland followed closely by loose limbed relaxation when the blond licks and kisses with soft reverence. 

They work together, shedding clothes as they go, relearning each other, rejoicing in the things they remember and exploring that which has changed. Steve glides his open palms over the marks on Bucky's body from carrying their son. Bucky brushes fingertips over the new scars on Steve's back. 

The gentle press as Bucky's body opens willingly to Steve's is just as perfect as it was the very first time. This is how they are meant to be, locked together skin on skin, hearts held close in an unbreakable embrace.

**All night long**

**We made love**

They spend hours moving against each other, finding and giving pleasure in one another's bodies. They whisper in the dark on their sides with slow pulses of Steve's hips. They moan wantonly as Bucky sits astride Steve taking pleasure in each shift of his body. They breathe quietly chest to chest as they find release again while looking in each other's eyes. Each time they are tied together feels as right as the last and Bucky relishes the way Steve's mouth teases at his neck, while wishing for more.

Steve's body is a comfortable weight, grounding Bucky as he drifts between sleep and wakefulness. He only fully wakes briefly when Steve's knot goes down and the blond nudges Bucky into being the little spoon after cleaning them both up. 

"Please be here when I wake up," Steve breathes against his neck, pressing a kiss to sensitive skin in a promise of a bond that could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the epilogue. Does Steve wake up alone again?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that bold font are song lyrics and italics are memories.
> 
> We've come to the end...

Chapter 6 Epilogue

  
  


_ "Please be here when I wake up." _

**And in the morning when he woke...**

It's early, but Steve's eyes snap open and he knows he's alone. Again. The grief that wells up inside his chest is a physical ache, one that takes hold of the glimmer of hope he fell asleep with and snuffs the life out of it. 

The pillow he pulls close to his chest smells like Bucky and the bed is still warm with the memory of his body. He can't have been gone long.

Throwing back the covers he hastily pulls on a pair of boxers and t-shirt before rushing out into the hallway. The guest room is empty, bed made as though his son never slept there. The living room is quiet with no sign of the family he briefly knew.

Steve tells himself he won't cry. He is mostly successful.

***

Steve's consciousness flutters between asleep and awake. He's warm, wrapped in a wishful dream where he walks along a beach holding Bucky's hand while Grant runs ahead of them shrieking with laughter. 

He shifts on the bed reaching out for a body that his subconscious knows isn't there. He climbs more towards wakefulness, but still holds tight to his dream, unwilling to let go of his heart's desire for just a little longer.

Right here, this is where he wants to stay. Where he has his family and his memories of beaches, long walks and his son's laughter to keep him warm. 

The bed bounces beside him and a soft weight drapes over his side as hushed words are spoken with a barely restrained impatience. It's time to wake, time to face the fact that Bucky won't be there.

"Daddy. Daddy wake up."

  
  


_ "Steve?" _

_ "I thought you left. I woke up and you weren't there. I thought you left me again." _

_ "No, I didn't leave. Grant woke up early so I brought him out here to burn off some energy. I didn't want to wake you." _

_ "So you're staying?" _

_ "If you still want us to, then yeah. We're staying." _

_ "Forever. Please stay forever." _

  
  


"Mmmm," Steve groans against his pillow, reaching for the nearest blanket to cover his head.

"Get uuuuuuuup." 

He has to stifle a laugh when Grant starts shaking his arm back and forth in an effort to get him out of bed.

"Come oooooonnn. You said we can make breakfast."

Steve huffs a put upon sigh and throws the blankets off the bed before wrapping Grant in a bear hug. "You wanna make breakfast?" He asks over the melodic sound of his son's giggles.

"You said we could." 

"Alright, let's go. What should we make?" He asks even though he already knows the answer.

"Pancakes!"

With a laugh Steve scoops Grant up in his arms. It's time to start their day.

Cooking with a five year old is no small feat, but they manage to make enough misshapen pancakes to satisfy even Steve's over active metabolism.

***

Steve wakes up when the bed dips behind him and a warm body presses against his back. "Mmmm, you're back. I wasn't expecting you until morning," he purrs happily.

The answering voice is a low growl in his ear, a reversal of their regular roles. "I've missed you."

"How was your trip?" It's the middle of the night and Steve is still sleepy, but his body is already responding to the light touches along his arm and down his side.

"Uneventful. I handed over the keys to the new owner for Alex and made sure the last of his and Brock's stuff was shipped to them in Europe."

"That's good. I'm sure he appreciated you helping him," Steve says as he wriggles and turns around in the bed.

"He did. So don't be surprised when the delivery truck comes today with a new playset for Grant."

"A what? Grant doesn't need a new playset."

"Alex insisted. This one has a climbing wall and a zipline."

"Great." Steve rolls his eyes already imagining all the new scrapes and bruises his adventurous son will have.

Bucky leans in for a kiss, slow and sweet that quickly turns wanting and deep as Steve wraps him up in his arms, pulling him close. "I missed you so much," Bucky murmurs between kisses.

Steve hums his approval and nuzzles against the distinct scarring over Bucky's mating gland. "I missed you too."

"You know how we were talking about trying for another baby during my next heat?" The brunet trails off as Steve sucks a mark alongside the scar. 

It takes a second for the realization to set in, but when it does Steve pushes away and opens his eyes wide. "Yeah?" He can hear the eagerness in his own voice. And now that he's more awake he can smell it. The usual soft scent of Bucky, but overlayed with a warm spice that suddenly captivates all of Steve's attention now that he knows it's there.

"Yeah. Came home early, I-" He's cut off by the insistent press of Steve's lips against his combined with the gentle pressure of his tongue seeking entrance. 

The first time is quick in their frantic need to be together after two long weeks apart. Urgent touches turn into desperate pleas for more, only satisfied as they come together in an embrace so primal it leaves them both speechless.

The second time is slower, breathing each other's air, taking the time to remind each other of their bond. They rock together, not rushing to climax, but rather allowing it to wash over them soft and warm. 

The third time Steve gazes up at his love and watches the way he moves, taking pleasure and returning it tenfold. It's overwhelming and he can feel the sting of tears in his eyes. This incredible man and the beautiful family they have is more than that scrawny boy from Brooklyn ever thought he'd have. It's more than the man lost in a future he didn't want knew was even possible. It's everything the man he is now yearns for deep in his soul and through their bond he knows Bucky feels it too. 

**All I want to do is make love to you**

**Say you will you want me too**

**All I want to do is make love to you**

**I've got lovin' arms to hold on to**

**All night long**

**We made love**

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, I'd love to hear about it.


End file.
